Surviving gender-based violence Survivor 9's story | Western Cape Government

Surviving gender-based violence Survivor 9's story

The Survivor is 57 years of age. She is a victim of domestic violence. She has been emotionally, verbally and physically abused by her former husband.

The resident started her story by relaying that she was in an abusive marriage. She met her husband when she was 29 years old. They got married when she was 30 years old. A daughter was born in this marriage. She indicated that her husband has been unfaithful in their marriage but she never paid attention to it. She would only ignore it. She indicated that with time she mustered up the courage and confronted her husband. This led to  him being abusive towards her. She, stressed that during the time she witnessed how her daughter suffered due to constant fighting in the house.  According to the resident her husband wanted her to accept the other woman, as he stayed with both them, to which she refused. She then gave him an ultimatum either her or the other women. This led to her husband being violent, and in the process, dislocated her shoulder. Due to the strains, it had on her daughter and her emotional state, she decided to seek help from their local church. She was then referred to Saartjie Baardman, and then to Athlone House of Strength and eventually to St Clares Sanctuary.

While talking the resident she excitedly communicated that, on her way to Athlone House of Strength was, she treated like a Queen. She indicated that the staff of Athlone House of Strength, specifically the social worker (Mrs Baxter) made her feel loved and cared for as she catered to her needs whilst driving to the safehouse. During her two weeks at Athlone House of Strength she felt loved. The resident referred to herself as ‘Heidi in die Berge’. She indicated she was so overwhelmed (traumatised) with what was happening in her life, that she would put her clothes on backwards. ‘I felt nothing, but numbness’, was a statement that she made, explaining how she felt at the time. The resident relayed that the services she received duringher stay at Athlone House of Strength, helped her to trust others again.

She indicated that her experience at St Clares Sanctuary : ‘I felt, homely when I first entered the sanctuary’, was her description given by the resdient to explain her welcoming at the shelter. She indicated that both the individual and groupwork has enabled her to believing in herself and abilities again. Whilst, talking, the resident laughed and referred to Woman’s Day (09 August 2020) where the residents were pampered for the day. She indicated that the make-up session and doing of her hair and receiving presents was a highlight for her whilst being at the shelter. ‘I felt like a woman and my old self again’. She communicated that her self-esteem increased over time, as she learnt to say positive affirmations. The resident highlighted the individual sessions, whilst at St Clares. According to the resident opportunities were created for her to speak without being ridiculed or judged. ‘I could be myself, whenever the social worker and I spoke about what happened to me’. The resident indicated that the activities that were presented in the shelter, has enabled her to face the world again and stand firm on her own two feet. The resident boasted about how spirituality and gardening sessions at the shelter has made her return to her roots again.

he resident exited the shelter in October 2020, after successful completion of her three-month programme at the shelter. The resident indicated that she has completed a Home-Based Care course, since she exited the shelter and is currently employed as a carer for an elderly woman. She indicated that she enjoys her work and has applied for an ECD-course at City of Cape Town College. She was of the opinion that with the computer literacy training she completed at St Clares, added an advantage in the course. She reflected upon the difficulty she had about the topic of divorce, whilst at the shelter but as time passed and her feeling empowered (more assertive) she feels at peace with her herself. The divorce has been finalised and she has peace of mind. The resident informed that contact with the shelter although she had exited already means a lot to her. ‘Although I exited, I do still feel love from you guys, thank you so much’.  She indicated that her relationship with her daughter has improved as they are more open in the way they communicate with each other. Lastly, did she excitedly indicate that since her departure from the shelter, she started applying make-up again, which makes her feel more confident.

The content on this page was last updated on 16 July 2021