Surviving gender-based violence Survivor 8's story

I am a 24 year old female with three children. I have been using methamphetamine. The father of my children was also a user. We had everything we needed. We had a huge wendy house and we also rented a flat. My children’s father had a stable job. The two of us smoked drugs every day. He used to physically abuse me a lot and put me out of the house. One day he was hitting me and I decided to leave. I left one of the kids with him. I stayed away for two weeks and went back again.  This was the routine. He would hit me and I would leave until he pleaded for my forgiveness and I would go back. Our drug use was so severe, we eventually ended up selling our place for drug money. We ended up in a shelter for homeless people in Paarl. The abuse did not stop there. He accused me with other men at the shelter even though men and women had separate sleeping areas. By this time, I had lost my children due to drugs. I could not take it any longer. I wanted to be a mom to my children, and I did not want to experience the abuse he had put me through.

At the shelter I decided to reach out to someone to help me with my drug addiction. I started the process of substance abuse rehabilitation. I was sent to Athlone House of Hope (AHOS) to help me get away from my abusive partner. I was also able to have my children with me at the shelter and this motivated me to work harder to get my life on track. At the shelter I cooperated to enable me to be able to take my mother responsibilities serious. At AHOS I found other women who were also experiencing what I experienced. I felt part of a family who cared for me. I was able to rebuild myself for the time that I was there. I engaged in programmes that taught me about gender-based violence and made me see my own value. I learned how to help myself and others.  When I left AHOS me and the children went to live with my grandfather who were very sick. I nursed my grandfather back to health. During the time I lived by my grandfather, I  met a new man. The father of my children is not in my life anymore and we have very little interaction because he continues to use drugs. I have met a wonderful man now and am married. I am happy with this man as he treats me good. I am not working now, but I help my husband in his business. I am thankful to AHOS for helping find myself again.