Surviving gender-based violence Survivor 10's story

In my teenage years, just when my star was about to shine brighter. When I was trying to get to know the woman I was becoming. Oh I remember it like it was yesterday. When I was introduced to a man who was supposedly to be a man of God by friends I used to go to a SCO (Student Christian Organisation) with. I looked at him as a father. And he filled that void and space of not having a father figure in my life. He was really easy to talk to. We became close to a point that he decided to invite me to stay with them (him and his former partner) after my guardian's passing. Growing up, I always made God the centre of my life. I grew up in church and I always had that heart that in whatever I do I don't disappoint my heavenly father. Well, in less than a year staying them, both myself and another church member had a dream about him. He interpreted the dreams that I was his soulmate. That is when confusion, fear and doubt came. At the same time I didn't want to go against the "will of God".

From the start of the union things went south. Firstly because there was a huge age gap between us. He used the Bible to manipulate and control. Spiritual abuse started, then verbal threats as if that was not enough he also became physically abusive. It was really frustrating, I didn't know who I was anymore, I was confused, broken and angry to a point where I attempted to commit suicide. Sometimes we stay and wait with a hope that someone will change, but mostly that doesn't happen. The abuse proceeded. It affected me both academically and spiritually. But the spiritual abuse is what broke me to  pieces. This other day, he beat me and chased me out of the house at night as he always does. Because of the tiredness of being ill-treated for so long and not doing anything about it, I fought back.

By God's grace, my neighbour used to hear all the screams and yelling. When she heard me crying at night being chased out she came and took me to hear place. She was really kind hearted. She assisted me to look for a woman's shelter. I stayed there for full 3 months. I remember the day I got at the shelter tears rolled down my face. It was never in my thoughts that I could ever be in that state. I wished my mom was still alive, maybe life could've been better. But we're here now. Day 3 was better, I was welcomed by really nice people. I received counselling. It was then that I realised that I really needed it. It helped me to open up and not a bottle things inside. The horse therapy sessions were my favourite. There were also skills activities, where we learnt how to sew, cook and do jewellery. All these activities birthed something in me. It was then when I realised that it's not yet over. I had that feeling when you finally see the light after walking in a very long dark tunnel.

I realise that I can live without this person. It's built my confidence, made me to be more courageous, to follow my heart's joy and dreams.I was the young one at the women's shelter. I learnt quite a lot of things from the ladies that were also there and their stories. I'm glad I stayed there because I came out a new person. I'm currently continuing with my studies to be a musician. Guess what I used the name of the room I was staying at the Woman's shelter as my stage name. It tells a story. It tells my story! My story of victory! My story of success!

I never saw the guy ever since I left his house. I'm living my own life now. Yes we mess up sometimes and we learn from it, we get SUCCESS through mess ups.