Gender-Based Violence Survivor Story 3

I am a mother of two girls aged nine years and 5 months. I am going to tell you a little about myself my past, my present and where I want to be.

Before coming to St. Annes I was staying in Lotus River where I was born and raised. My mother was a drinker and was drunk almost everyday. I am the eldest of six siblings and therefore had to take care of my other siblings when my mother was drunk passed out or maybe not even at home. That time I was still very young I was 12 years old then I would get my siblings ready for school. Going to school doing my work as if nothing is wrong. After school my mother wasn't home yet then I would ask the neighbours for something to eat. They would give us food knowing that my mother wasn't home. So, I grew up to drop out of school because my mother didn't care. Then I began hanging with the bad crew where I felt wanted. I began doing wrong things firstly drinking and smoking cigarettes then dagga from there tik and mandrax and experimenting in all kinds of drugs and I was only 15 years old then. I then felt anger and hurt towards my mother and I wanted to be loved so badly I was looking for it in the wrong places and fell for the wrong guys obviously cause I was still young and stupid and they took advantage of me.

I would have no place to stay and I would live here and there. Till I met my first daughter's father we were still young. Me 18 and him 19 years old. We were in love. He told his parents my story and decided that I would come and stay with them. I went and found me a job my first job at Spar and everything was so good for me and then that happy story had a sad ending and so I went back to the drugs. It went like that on and off for years. Things just wouldn't work out for me. And not thinking that my daughter was now also suffering in the process. Me not having a place to sleep I would sleep here and there not knowing where I'm going to end up tomorrow. I just didn't care anymore I would smoke drugs everyday just to forget about my problems. Then I met this guy and I moved in with him. We would smoke together at first things was nice then afterward arguments would start, and he would beat me. I would have a blue eye and all these things happened in front of my daughter and I was pregnant with my second child.

The neighbours would witness this and out of concern this one lady phoned the social workers cause she knew me from when I was small and she loved my daughter. The social worker came, and they took my daughter away. That broke me. Then a few months before I gave birth my baby’s father went to prison for some things he did. I was so stressed what was going to happen to me. I’m going to have a baby, the father went to prison, they took my daughter and they were going to take my unborn as well. I gave birth to her and when I saw her for the first time and holding her in my arms I just couldn’t lose her. Then and there I decided I was going to change my life for the sake of my kids. So, she was my hope and I named her Hope. Then the social worker that was handling my case gave me a choice I was going to this shelter called St. Annes or they were going to take my little Hope. Then I was thinking a shelter, I had this whole wrong picture in my head. The Saturday she rocked up there where I was sleeping and said pack your stuff we are going to that place and I felt sad because now I’m not going to see my other daughter for four months. But when I cam here everything changed for me. This place was so amazing I had a nice bed to sleep in. The room where I was sleeping was so nice and cozy. There was even a cot in the room for my baby. They gave me some clothes; they gave me toiletries and not only that I didn’t have to worry where my next meal was coming from. I had all this amazing people around me that was encouraging me and made me feel loved again. Knowing that there were still people that cared and It gave me the courage to want to do better and for weeks that’s what I told myself because that is what St. Annes made me believe and everyday I just try harder.  Thanks to St Annes.